. elsewhere . . letters from the inaccessible .


6 November 2000
The 26th Anniversary Edition of Elsewhere
(+2 days)

the ultimate birthday list(s)

So this weekend I turned 26. I had a party thrown for me. I got a rather impressive array of gifts, and actually felt more loved than I have in a while. Well, since this is the 26th Anniversary Edition of Elsewhere (bet you didn't know that there were 25 before it...? neither did I), I'll give you all a bonus list. Here are the 2 lists which came up this weekend. First: the sushi list...

Friday Night was a very Pedal night for me. At about 7pm, Perry and his lovely fiancée Karen were here at the Revolution. It was Perry's last day for just over a month while he gets hitched and honeymooned. We made our way to the local U-Zen sushi house for a 7:30 reservation to meet with Kane "Kuo-Gon" and his queen "Amy-dala" who are expecting a little Jedi of their own in a few months... Master Jo-da (Million Dollar Sydney) was unable to attend. Kane ate the more adventurous sushi (Salmon Roe, Sea Urchin, etc.) while Perry and I stuck with the basics (Tuna/Salmon and California Rolls). The conversation evolved, touched on Kane's doctoring and Karen's marathon-training, eventually arriving at a graduated scale for getting me to eat the weird stuff on each birthday:

  • 26: One single salmon egg. It tasted like Fisherman's Wharf smells.
  • 27: A whole Salmon Roe thing.
  • 28: Uni (Sea Urchin, described by Kane as "like eating a wet smelly gym sock," apparently, some people go for that sort of thing).
  • 29: I don't remember what that was...
  • 30: The fried shrimp-head which comes with the shrimp sushi.

Next comes the birthday gift list. On Saturday, many friends got together and actually had a birthday dinner-thing at Michelle W.'s place. At first, I was self-conscious about the party thing, because I don't tend to operate well as the actual center of attention/guest of honor. Nancy and I debated social norms, stereotypes, the media, and the agendas of those who disseminate information (in my opinion, information is always suspect, especially my own). It was a good talk. Then the cards/gifts... without going into too much detail here (this missive will be long enough already), I got what amounts to the best collection of gifts I've gotten for a birthday. Also, I determined a good list for birthday gifts... sort of a guideline to gift-giving for the guy like me in your life:

  • A contraption (hard to describe bronze planet-thing. something that would conceivably be used as a prop in a documentary about Copernicus).
  • A device (a Wah-Wah pedal for my guitar, GCB-535Q).
  • A thing (2, to be exact, a CD shelf and a picture frame with a very flattering picture of Nancy, Michelle W., and Yin).
  • A doo-hickey (a glass slide for my guitar).

Also optional is the monolithic marble lamp. You'd have to see it...

it's a good thing there were red lights on my face

You know the most time-honored tradition of birthdays. Well, for a few brief minutes on Saturday night, the potential was all too real...

You see, on Saturday night, a bunch of us went to celebrate my birthday at a goth-industrial dance club called Bar Sinister. I quite like the atmosphere, and on a good night, the music is great. On a bad night, the music is still better than any normal cheezy dance club like [*shudder*] Dublin's. I'm not a goth, but if cornered, I'd have to say it's the sub-culture I probably identify with more than any other...

And, of course, there is a sub-culture within the goth sub-culture (infinite variety in infinite variations, to be sure!)... but let me back up here a minute. We were sitting on the outdoor patio, I was slowly nursing a Long Island Iced Tea (of which I finished about half), when someone came over to the table which we were sitting at.

"So I hear it's someone's birthday," she said, walking up the small stair to the riser upon which the table and our group were located.

Everyone nodded.

"So where is the birthday boy?" she asked, glancing around the table and my friends. I, by the way, was sitting as impassively as I could, and just watched her as she did so. My friends, of course, all pointed to me. She looked my way, and stood next to me and said, "Is it your birthday?" I nodded. She held her hand out for me to shake in introduction.

"Hi, my name is Mistress Michelle," she said, smiling sweetly, "and I'm the dominatrix here. We provide a special service for people with birthdays, and tonight you will be getting a spanking." She was wearing a rather tight leather corset and tight black pants. She was quite pretty, actually.

"...........," I said. If the lights upon my face weren't red enough already, I would've been radiating copiously and brightly. Finally, I think I said, "No, thanks."

"It's not optional. If you want to stay, meet me upstairs in 15 minutes," she concluded, still smiling sweetly. She turned and walked away.

Now, it may be appropriate to tell a little more about myself. While I probably identify more with the goth subculture than any other (I don't quite fit in, but where do I?), I don't fall into the sub-sub-culture of S&M devotees. I can go for the melancholy, the despair, the hopelessness, dressing in dark clothing, and the subdued lighting. I don't go for spanking, tying-up, humiliation, or any of the other services which Bar Sinister provides, at additional cost, upstairs. I'm quite the egalitarian.

In case you were wondering, I didn't go upstairs. I'd been upstairs once as a spectator, and found that was quite enough for me. I would be lying if I said I didn't consider it for a moment, though (she was quite pretty and had a lovely smile)... Fortunately for me, it was Stacey that had asked Mistress Michelle to add the 'mandatory' part to it. While it is a service they provide, it is strictly optional.

musings of señor prod.

Left in charge of the store... The Revolution's opening up a family-size can of whoop-ass. And we'd better win this time.


©2001 Timothy A. Clark -|-